🧪 Case Study 10.3: “I Don’t Think I Can Keep Going”
🧪 Case Study 10.3: “I Don’t Think I Can Keep Going”
Scenario
After a Sunday evening prayer gathering, a church member named Marcus stays seated after everyone else begins leaving. He has been part of the church for about two years. He usually helps with setup, but lately he has missed several services and has seemed withdrawn.
Rachel, a Church Community Chaplain, notices him sitting alone and asks gently:
“Marcus, I noticed you stayed back. How are you doing tonight?”
Marcus shrugs and says:
“I don’t know. I’m tired. Really tired.”
Rachel sits nearby, leaving appropriate space, and says:
“That sounds heavy. I’m glad you stayed long enough to say something.”
Marcus looks down and says:
“I don’t think I can keep going. I keep messing everything up. I relapsed again. My wife is done with me. I lost hours at work. I can’t sleep. I feel like everyone would be better off without me.”
Rachel feels her heart tighten. She wants to say, “Don’t talk like that,” but she remembers her training. This is no longer an ordinary encouragement conversation. This is a crisis signal.
The course master template is clear that Church Community Chaplains must never promise absolute secrecy when there is credible concern involving self-harm, suicidal intent, overdose concern, serious intoxication, danger to another person, medical emergency, or any situation where safety, church policy, or law requires escalation.
Rachel must stay calm, ask direct safety questions, protect Marcus’s dignity, and involve proper help.
Analysis
Marcus’s words include several warning signs:
“I don’t think I can keep going.”
“Everyone would be better off without me.”
Recent addiction relapse.
Marriage strain.
Work instability.
Sleep deprivation.
Shame.
Withdrawal from church.
Possible suicidal thinking.
Rachel should not assume Marcus is “just venting.” She should also not diagnose him, shame him, preach at him, or promise secrecy.
This situation requires calm, direct, life-protecting care.
A Church Community Chaplain is not a therapist, addiction counselor, doctor, emergency responder, or suicide intervention specialist unless separately trained and authorized. But Rachel can still serve faithfully as a first presence by noticing danger, asking direct questions, and connecting Marcus with proper support.
Goals
Rachel’s goals should be to:
Stay calm and present.
Take Marcus’s words seriously.
Avoid shame-based responses.
Ask direct safety questions.
Avoid promising secrecy.
Determine whether there is immediate danger.
Follow church policy and crisis escalation pathways.
Involve proper help quickly if needed.
Protect Marcus’s dignity through minimum-necessary sharing.
Offer prayer by permission without delaying safety action.
Avoid becoming Marcus’s only lifeline.
Support follow-up through a broader care circle.
Poor Response
Rachel says:
“Marcus, don’t say that. You have so much to live for. You just need to trust God and stop letting the enemy lie to you. I won’t tell anyone, but you need to promise me you won’t do anything tonight. Let me pray, and then you should go home and get some sleep.”
This response may sound spiritual, but it is unsafe.
Rachel minimizes Marcus’s words. She asks for a promise instead of asking clear safety questions. She offers false secrecy. She uses spiritual language too quickly. She sends him home without knowing whether he has a plan, access to lethal means, intoxication, overdose risk, or someone safe with him.
Prayer is good, but prayer must not replace safety action.
Wise Response
Rachel keeps her voice calm and says:
“Marcus, I’m really glad you told me. I care about you, and I need to ask directly: are you thinking about hurting yourself?”
Marcus is quiet for a few seconds.
“I don’t know. Maybe. I just don’t want to feel this anymore.”
Rachel says:
“Thank you for being honest. Are you thinking about ending your life?”
Marcus whispers:
“I have thought about it.”
Rachel continues gently:
“Do you have a plan for how you would do it?”
Marcus says:
“I thought about taking the pills I have at home.”
Rachel now knows this is serious. She says:
“Marcus, because you have thought about ending your life and have access to pills, I can’t keep this private. I care about you too much to carry this alone. We need to involve help right now. I will stay with you while we contact support.”
Rachel follows the church’s crisis pathway. She contacts the designated pastor or elder immediately and, if the risk is imminent, contacts emergency or crisis support. She does not leave Marcus alone.
Stronger Conversation
Marcus says:
“Please don’t tell anyone. I shouldn’t have said anything.”
Rachel answers:
“I understand why you feel that way. I will protect your dignity and privacy as much as I can. But if your life may be in danger, I cannot keep that secret. I am not going to broadcast this. I am going to involve the right people so you can be safe.”
Marcus says:
“My wife will hate me if she finds out.”
Rachel says:
“This is frightening, but your life matters. We are going to take one step at a time. Right now the first step is safety.”
Rachel asks:
“Have you taken anything tonight?”
Marcus says:
“No.”
Rachel asks:
“Have you been drinking or using tonight?”
Marcus says:
“I drank earlier.”
Rachel says:
“Thank you for telling me. That makes it even more important that we do not send you home alone. I’m going to call Pastor Mark now, and we may need crisis or medical support.”
Marcus begins to cry.
Rachel says:
“You are not too much. I am glad you spoke. Would it be okay if I prayed briefly while we contact help?”
Marcus nods.
Rachel prays:
“Lord Jesus, protect Marcus’s life. Bring calm, courage, truth, and the right help. Let him know he is not alone. Guide every next step with mercy and wisdom. Amen.”
Rachel then continues with the safety pathway. She does not turn the moment into a long counseling session. She does not leave Marcus alone. She shares only necessary information with the pastor, elder, crisis responder, or emergency support.
Boundary Reminders
A Church Community Chaplain must remember:
Suicidal language must be taken seriously.
Addiction relapse can increase shame and danger.
Sleep deprivation can intensify crisis.
The chaplain should ask direct safety questions.
The chaplain should not diagnose.
The chaplain should not promise secrecy.
The chaplain should not handle suicidal intent alone.
The chaplain should not send the person home alone if immediate danger is present.
The chaplain should follow church policy and emergency pathways.
Prayer should support safety action, not replace it.
The chaplain should protect dignity through minimum-necessary sharing.
The chaplain should not become the person’s sole lifeline.
Do’s
Stay calm.
Say, “I’m glad you told me.”
Ask directly about self-harm and suicide.
Ask whether there is a plan.
Ask whether the person has access to lethal means.
Ask whether the person has taken anything or used substances.
Ask whether someone safe can be with them.
Follow church policy.
Contact appropriate help.
Stay with the person if safe and appropriate.
Share only necessary information.
Pray by permission.
Help establish broader care after the immediate danger is addressed.
Don’ts
Do not say, “You don’t really mean that.”
Do not say, “Real Christians don’t feel this way.”
Do not promise secrecy.
Do not rely on a promise that the person will not hurt themselves.
Do not diagnose depression, addiction, bipolar disorder, trauma, or spiritual warfare.
Do not send the person home alone when risk is present.
Do not treat relapse as merely moral failure.
Do not use Scripture as pressure.
Do not use prayer to delay crisis support.
Do not tell unrelated people.
Do not turn the crisis into a prayer-chain story.
Do not carry the crisis privately.
Sample Phrases
When someone says they cannot keep going:
“I care about you, and I need to ask directly: are you thinking about hurting yourself?”
When someone admits suicidal thoughts:
“Thank you for being honest. Do you have a plan for how you would do it?”
When someone has access to lethal means:
“Because you have a plan and access to what you might use, we need to involve help right now.”
When someone asks for secrecy:
“I will protect your dignity and privacy as much as I can, but I cannot keep this secret if your life may be in danger.”
When addiction relapse is part of the crisis:
“Relapse does not mean you should hide. It means you need support quickly and honestly.”
When the chaplain must involve help:
“I care about you too much to carry this alone.”
When prayer is welcomed:
“Lord Jesus, protect this life. Bring calm, courage, truth, wisdom, and the right help. Amen.”
Ministry Sciences Reflection
Marcus is caught in a convergence of crisis pressures: relapse, shame, marital strain, work stress, sleep loss, isolation, and hopelessness. In this state, his thinking may narrow. He may not be able to see options clearly. Shame may tell him that he is a burden and that disclosure will only make things worse.
Rachel’s calm presence helps widen the moment.
Ministry Sciences also helps Rachel notice her own internal pressure. She may feel afraid of overreacting. She may feel honored that Marcus trusted her. She may want to protect his privacy so he will not feel embarrassed. She may fear that involving others will damage trust.
But trust does not mean secrecy when life is at risk. Trust means Rachel must care wisely, truthfully, and quickly.
Organic Humans Reflection
Marcus is an embodied soul. His crisis is not merely spiritual, emotional, physical, or relational. It is all of these together. His relapse affects his body, conscience, marriage, sleep, work, prayer life, shame, and sense of future. His suicidal thoughts are not the whole of who he is, but they are serious enough to require immediate care.
Rachel is also an embodied soul. She has limits. She may feel fear in her body, compassion in her heart, and spiritual concern in her mind. She must not become Marcus’s rescuer. She must serve as a faithful, bounded presence within the body of Christ.
Whole-person care means Marcus may need prayer, pastoral care, crisis support, medical help, recovery support, counseling, family support, and long-term follow-up. No one helper should become the whole care system.
Practical Lessons
Suicidal language must be taken seriously.
Addiction relapse can intensify shame and risk.
Direct questions about suicide are appropriate and necessary.
A plan and access to lethal means require urgent escalation.
False secrecy can endanger life.
Calmness and urgency belong together.
Prayer should accompany safety action, not replace it.
Minimum-necessary sharing protects dignity.
The chaplain should not become the person’s only lifeline.
Faithful care protects life and connects the person to proper support.
Reflection Questions
What crisis signals appear in Marcus’s words and situation?
Why should Rachel ask directly about self-harm and suicide?
What is dangerous about the poor response?
Why is a promise of secrecy inappropriate in this case?
What should Rachel do when Marcus says he has thought about taking pills at home?
How can Rachel protect Marcus’s dignity while still involving proper help?
How does addiction relapse increase the seriousness of the situation?
How does the Organic Humans framework shape Rachel’s view of Marcus?
What support systems should be involved after the immediate crisis?
What phrase from this case study would help you most in real ministry?
References
Cloud, Henry, and John Townsend. Boundaries. Zondervan, 1992.
Collins, Gary R. Christian Counseling: A Comprehensive Guide. Thomas Nelson, 2007.
Langberg, Diane. Suffering and the Heart of God: How Trauma Destroys and Christ Restores. New Growth Press, 2015.
Miller, William R., and Stephen Rollnick. Motivational Interviewing: Helping People Change. Guilford Press, 2013.
Reyenga, Henry. Organic Humans. Christian Leaders Press, forthcoming/course resource.
Sande, Ken. The Peacemaker: A Biblical Guide to Resolving Personal Conflict. Baker Books, 2004.
The Holy Bible, World English Bible. Public Domain.
Van der Kolk, Bessel. The Body Keeps the Score. Viking, 2014.