📝 Worksheet 6.4: Visit Planning and Grief Follow-Up Worksheet
📝 Worksheet 6.4: Visit Planning and Grief Follow-Up Worksheet
Purpose
This worksheet helps Church Community Chaplains prepare for hospital visits, home visits, nursing home visits, funeral care, grief follow-up, and ongoing support for people who are suffering.
The goal is to help chaplains show up with humility, permission, wise boundaries, and Christ-centered presence. This worksheet also helps chaplains remember that grief, illness, aging, and caregiving often require shared church care—not one person trying to carry everything alone.
A Church Community Chaplain offers presence without pressure, prayer by permission, Scripture with wisdom, and connection to proper care.
Scripture Reflection
Read the following passages slowly.
“Rejoice with those who rejoice. Weep with those who weep.”
Romans 12:15, WEB
“Jesus wept.”
John 11:35, WEB
“Yahweh is near to those who have a broken heart, and saves those who have a crushed spirit.”
Psalm 34:18, WEB
“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction.”
2 Corinthians 1:3–4, WEB
Reflection Questions
What does Romans 12:15 teach about entering another person’s grief?
Why is John 11:35 important for chaplains who care for grieving people?
How does Psalm 34:18 shape the way you understand God’s nearness to the suffering?
What does 2 Corinthians 1:3–4 teach about comfort as something received and shared?
Personal Discernment
When you are with someone who is grieving, sick, aging, or overwhelmed, what is your first instinct?
Check any that apply:
☐ I want to explain why this happened.
☐ I want to fix the problem quickly.
☐ I feel uncomfortable with silence.
☐ I want to share a Bible verse right away.
☐ I want to pray immediately.
☐ I want to compare their grief with something I experienced.
☐ I feel anxious about saying the wrong thing.
☐ I want to stay longer than may be helpful.
☐ I feel tempted to promise more than I can sustain.
☐ I can slow down, listen, ask permission, and remain present.
Personal Reflection
Which instincts could help you serve well?
Which instincts could unintentionally pressure or overwhelm the person?
How comfortable are you with silence during suffering care?
What phrase can you use when you do not know what to say?
Visit Planning
Use this section before a hospital, home, nursing home, assisted living, rehab, shut-in, or grief-related visit.
Person being visited
Name: _________________________________________________
Setting:
☐ Hospital
☐ Home
☐ Nursing home
☐ Assisted living
☐ Rehabilitation facility
☐ Funeral home
☐ Church
☐ Other: ______________________________________________
Permission and timing
Who gave permission for the visit?
Is this a good time for a visit?
☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ Need to confirm
Best contact method: ____________________________________
Best time or time window: _______________________________
Purpose of the visit
What is the main purpose?
☐ Presence
☐ Prayer
☐ Scripture encouragement
☐ Grief support
☐ Illness support
☐ Aging or shut-in care
☐ Caregiver support
☐ Funeral follow-up
☐ Practical need assessment
☐ Pastoral connection
☐ Deacon or care team connection
☐ Other: ______________________________________________
Visit length
Suggested visit length:
☐ 5–10 minutes
☐ 10–20 minutes
☐ 20–30 minutes
☐ Longer only if clearly welcomed and appropriate
What signs might show the person is tired or overwhelmed?
Whole-Person Care Check
Use this section to remember that people suffer as whole embodied souls.
Spiritual care
☐ Would the person welcome prayer?
☐ Would the person welcome Scripture?
☐ Is there a pastor or elder care need?
☐ Is the person asking deep spiritual questions?
☐ Is lament more appropriate than explanation?
Notes: _________________________________________________
Emotional care
☐ Is the person grieving?
☐ Is the person anxious, numb, angry, tearful, or overwhelmed?
☐ Is silence needed?
☐ Is listening more important than speaking?
☐ Is the person repeating the story as part of processing?
Notes: _________________________________________________
Physical awareness
☐ Is the person in pain?
☐ Is the person tired?
☐ Is the person medicated or confused?
☐ Is the person able to talk for long?
☐ Are medical staff or facility rules involved?
Notes: _________________________________________________
Relational care
☐ Are family members present?
☐ Is there family tension?
☐ Is a caregiver overwhelmed?
☐ Does the person feel isolated?
☐ Should follow-up include family, pastor, elder, deacon, or care team?
Notes: _________________________________________________
Practical care
☐ Meals
☐ Transportation
☐ Home support
☐ Funeral support
☐ Caregiver relief
☐ Deacon or mercy ministry referral
☐ Help reconnecting with worship or small group
☐ Other: ______________________________________________
Notes: _________________________________________________
Prayer and Scripture Permission Practice
Before praying, practice asking:
“Would it be okay if I prayed with you?”
Alternative phrases:
“Would a short prayer be welcome right now?”
“Would you prefer prayer, quiet company, or a shorter visit today?”
“Is there anything specific you would like me to bring before God?”
“Would a short Psalm be encouraging, or would silence be better?”
“Would you like me to pray now, or would another time be better?”
Write your own prayer-permission phrase:
Short Prayer Practice
Write a short prayer for someone who is grieving.
Write a short prayer for someone who is ill.
Write a short prayer for a caregiver who is exhausted.
Write a short prayer for a senior adult who feels forgotten.
What Not to Say
Rewrite each unhelpful phrase into a wiser chaplain response.
1. Unhelpful phrase
“Everything happens for a reason.”
Wiser response:
2. Unhelpful phrase
“God needed another angel.”
Wiser response:
3. Unhelpful phrase
“You need to be strong.”
Wiser response:
4. Unhelpful phrase
“I know exactly how you feel.”
Wiser response:
5. Unhelpful phrase
“If you had more faith, you would not feel this way.”
Wiser response:
Visit Conversation Practice
Opening the visit
Practice writing one gentle opening sentence.
Example:
“Thank you for letting me come. Would this be a good time for a short visit?”
Your opening sentence:
During the visit
Write one listening question you could ask.
Example:
“What has been hardest today?”
Your listening question:
Offering prayer
Write one permission-based prayer invitation.
Example:
“Would it be okay if I prayed a short prayer before I go?”
Your prayer invitation:
Closing the visit
Write one gentle closing sentence.
Example:
“I am grateful I could be here. I will keep praying, and I will check in again if that would be welcome.”
Your closing sentence:
Grief Follow-Up Plan
Many people receive care during the funeral week but feel forgotten later. Use this plan to help the church remember.
Person or family needing follow-up
Name: _________________________________________________
Relationship to the person who died or loss experienced:
Date of death or major loss: _____________________________
Important dates to remember:
☐ One week later: ______________________________________
☐ One month later: _____________________________________
☐ Three months later: __________________________________
☐ Six months later: ____________________________________
☐ One-year anniversary: ________________________________
☐ Birthday: ___________________________________________
☐ Holiday season: _____________________________________
☐ Other: ______________________________________________
Follow-up actions
☐ Card
☐ Phone call
☐ Text message
☐ Short visit
☐ Prayer
☐ Meal support
☐ Pastor or elder connection
☐ Deacon or care team support
☐ Small group support
☐ Funeral or memorial support
☐ Other: ______________________________________________
Who will follow up?
When?
What should be avoided?
Caregiver Support Check
Name of caregiver: ______________________________________
Person being cared for: __________________________________
What burden seems heaviest right now?
Possible support:
☐ Prayer
☐ Listening
☐ Meal support
☐ Transportation help
☐ Deacon or mercy ministry referral
☐ Pastor or elder care
☐ Short respite help through proper church process
☐ Community agency referral
☐ Encouragement card
☐ Other: ______________________________________________
Question to ask the caregiver
Write one gentle question:
Referral and Escalation Check
Some suffering situations exceed the chaplain role. Mark any that apply.
☐ Suicidal language
☐ Self-harm concern
☐ Abuse disclosure
☐ Domestic violence concern
☐ Danger to a minor
☐ Danger to a vulnerable adult
☐ Medical emergency
☐ Severe confusion or disorientation
☐ Caregiver collapse
☐ Unsafe living situation
☐ Serious neglect concern
☐ Request for medical advice
☐ Request for legal advice
☐ Request for financial advice
☐ Complicated grief that appears dangerous or debilitating
☐ Family conflict that may become unsafe
☐ Spiritual crisis needing pastoral or elder care
☐ End-of-life concerns needing pastoral presence
Who should be involved?
☐ Pastor
☐ Elder
☐ Deacon or mercy ministry
☐ Care team leader
☐ Medical professional
☐ Emergency services
☐ Counselor or grief specialist
☐ Hospice team
☐ Facility staff
☐ Protective services
☐ Other: ______________________________________________
Minimum necessary information to share:
What should not be shared?
After-Visit Reflection
After the visit, answer these questions.
Did I listen more than I spoke?
Did I ask permission before prayer or Scripture?
Did I avoid clichés and quick explanations?
Did I protect privacy?
Did I notice practical needs?
Did I notice caregiver needs?
Did anything require referral or escalation?
What follow-up is needed?
What do I need to release to Christ instead of carrying alone?
Who can I debrief with appropriately while protecting privacy?
Sample Phrase Practice
Practice these phrases out loud.
“I am so sorry. I do not have easy words, but I am here.”
“Would this be a good time for a short visit?”
“Would a short prayer be welcome right now?”
“Would quiet company be better today?”
“You do not have to rush your grief.”
“This is beyond what I should carry alone.”
“Would it help if I connected you with our pastor, elder, deacon, or care team?”
“You are not forgotten.”
“We can take this one step at a time.”
“Because this involves safety, we need to involve the right help.”
Which three phrases feel most natural to you?
Which three phrases do you need to practice more?
Next Faithful Step
Write one action you will take this week to strengthen your care for people experiencing grief, illness, aging, caregiving strain, or suffering.
Examples:
Ask your pastor how hospital visits are coordinated.
Learn the church’s funeral follow-up process.
Ask the deacons how practical needs are handled.
Create a simple grief follow-up calendar.
Visit a shut-in member with permission.
Practice asking permission before prayer.
Review when suffering-related concerns require escalation.
Send a card to someone who may feel forgotten.
Pray for humility, patience, and wisdom in suffering care.
My next faithful step:
Closing Prayer
Lord Jesus Christ, Man of Sorrows and Shepherd of your people, teach me to be present with those who suffer. Help me listen before speaking, pray by permission, and share Scripture with gentleness and wisdom. Keep me from clichés, pressure, medical advice, and promises I cannot keep. Give me compassion for the grieving, patience with the aging, tenderness toward the sick, and awareness of exhausted caregivers. Help me know when to stay, when to refer, when to escalate, and when to release burdens back to you. Make me a faithful servant of your comfort and peace. Amen.