📝 Worksheet 12.5: Growing Spiritually Together as Husband and Wife
📝 Worksheet 12.5: Growing Spiritually Together as Husband and Wife
Purpose of This Worksheet
Christian marriage is not only about living in the same house, sharing responsibilities, raising children, managing money, or staying faithful through the years. Christian marriage is also a shared discipleship journey.
A husband and wife are called to grow as embodied souls before God. This means spiritual growth is not separated from ordinary married life. Prayer, Scripture, repentance, forgiveness, worship, affection, household habits, service, and shared mission all belong together.
This worksheet will help you reflect on how you and your spouse can grow spiritually together without pressure, performance, comparison, or shame.
Part 1: A Spiritual Growth Check-In
Answer honestly and prayerfully.
When I think about spiritual growth in marriage, I usually feel:
In our marriage, spiritual growth together has been:
☐ Natural and life-giving
☐ Inconsistent but desired
☐ Awkward or difficult
☐ Mostly individual, not shared
☐ A source of pressure or conflict
☐ Something we have rarely discussed
One spiritual habit we already practice in some way is:
One spiritual habit I would like us to grow in is:
One reason spiritual growth together can feel difficult is:
Part 2: Prayer Without Performance
Some couples imagine that praying together must sound polished, long, emotional, or impressive. But prayer in marriage can be simple. It can be a sentence before work, a quiet prayer before bed, a prayer in the car, a prayer after conflict, or a prayer when a child is struggling.
Prayer is not a performance. Prayer is talking to God together.
Reflect:
What kind of prayer feels most natural in our marriage right now?
☐ Mealtime prayer
☐ Bedtime prayer
☐ Prayer before decisions
☐ Prayer during conflict
☐ Prayer for children or family
☐ Prayer during illness or hardship
☐ We do not currently pray together often
What kind of prayer feels awkward or intimidating?
What is one simple prayer rhythm we could try this week?
Example: “Before bed, we will each name one concern and one gratitude, then pray briefly.”
Our simple prayer rhythm:
Part 3: Listening to God Through Scripture
Christian marriage grows when husband and wife learn to listen to God. This does not mean every couple must have the same devotional style. One spouse may love quiet reading. Another may prefer audio Bible, discussion, sermons, songs, or short Scripture reflections.
The goal is not identical style. The goal is shared openness to God’s Word.
Which Scripture practice fits our marriage best right now?
☐ Reading a short passage together
☐ Listening to Scripture together
☐ Discussing Sunday’s sermon
☐ Memorizing one verse
☐ Reading separately and sharing one insight
☐ Using a devotional
☐ Studying a book of the Bible slowly
What Scripture passage, book, or theme would be helpful for our marriage right now?
What time of day or week would make this realistic?
What could make this feel like grace instead of pressure?
Part 4: The Seven Connections of Love in Marriage
The Seven Connections of Love form a personal and corporate discipleship walk involving a repeated pattern of talking to God in prayer and listening to God through the Bible.
Use the seven connections below to reflect on your marriage.
1. Self
How am I personally walking with God?
One area where I need spiritual renewal:
One habit that would help me become a healthier spouse:
2. Marriage or Close Friend
How are we growing in covenant love?
One way I can love my spouse more intentionally:
One way we can protect warmth, tenderness, and friendship:
3. Family
How is our home being shaped?
One spiritual atmosphere I want our household to have:
One pattern in our family life that needs prayer or repair:
4. Small Group or Friends
Who helps strengthen our marriage?
One couple, friend, mentor, small group, or trusted believer who encourages us:
One way we could become less isolated:
5. Church
How are we connected to the body of Christ?
One way church life strengthens our marriage:
One way we could participate more faithfully:
6. Kingdom
How does our marriage serve beyond ourselves?
One ministry, act of hospitality, service opportunity, or mission we care about:
One way our home could bless others:
7. Unreached World
How does our marriage witness to Christ’s love?
One person, group, community, or need we could pray for:
One small step we could take toward outward-focused love:
Part 5: Shared Calling Conversation
Marriage is not only about surviving together. It is about discerning how God may use your covenant, home, gifts, wounds, story, and love for his purposes.
Discuss or write:
What do we sense God has already done through our marriage?
What burdens, people, or ministry opportunities keep coming back to our hearts?
What strengths has God placed in our marriage?
What wounds or struggles might God be redeeming into compassion for others?
What is one small shared calling step we could take in the next month?
Part 6: When One Spouse Feels More Spiritually Eager
Sometimes one spouse wants to pray, read Scripture, attend church, serve, or grow more actively, while the other spouse feels hesitant, tired, resistant, ashamed, or pressured.
Spiritual leadership in marriage should never become nagging, superiority, manipulation, or control. The more eager spouse can invite, model, pray, and encourage without forcing. The less eager spouse can take one honest step without pretending.
Reflect:
Do we have different spiritual energy levels right now?
☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ Sometimes
☐ We are not sure
If yes, what tends to happen?
☐ One spouse pressures
☐ One spouse withdraws
☐ We avoid the topic
☐ We feel shame or frustration
☐ We are learning to talk about it with grace
What would a gentle invitation look like in our marriage?
What would pressure sound like, and how can we avoid it?
Part 7: Our Simple Spiritual Growth Plan
Choose a realistic plan. Keep it small enough to practice.
This week, we will try:
☐ One short prayer together
☐ One Scripture reading or listening time
☐ One church or worship commitment
☐ One repentance and repair conversation
☐ One gratitude conversation
☐ One act of service or hospitality
☐ One shared prayer for someone outside our home
Write the plan:
When will we do this?
How will we keep it simple?
Closing Prayer
Lord Jesus,
Teach us to grow together without performance, pressure, or shame. Help us become husband and wife who listen to your Word, talk to you in prayer, repent quickly, forgive wisely, and serve with joy.
Shape our marriage into a covenant home of grace and truth. Heal what is wounded. Strengthen what is weak. Awaken what has become tired. Guide us in the Seven Connections of Love so our marriage becomes a place of worship, discipleship, hospitality, and witness.
Make our love steady, our faith sincere, and our home fruitful for your kingdom.
Amen.