Video Transcript: Working with Leaders

This is session 28 of practical ministry skills. We're talking about working with  leaders. This is from chapter 16 of the pastoring the nuts and bolts book. Our  key verse is then the Lord said to me, write my answer plainly on tablets so that  a runner can carry the correct message to others. Habakkuk, 2:2, and that's  mainly talking about communication there. Last time we talked about finding  leaders. Today, we're talking about working with leaders, and communication  may be the most important part of working with leaders. So write the write it  plainly, so a runner can carry the correct message to others. God was  concerned about the communication of his word to his people. Communication  has what I call the three C's of communication. Your communication has to be  clear. It has to be complete. It has to be concise. It has to be clear. People need  to understand what it is that you are trying to get across to what you want them  to know. So ask yourself if there's any way that what you have written, what you  plan to say, could be misunderstood, because, as I've said before, generally, if  something can possibly be read the wrong way, somebody will read it that wrong way, and they'll blame you for because they'll say but That's what you wrote, and it doesn't help to say but that's not what I meant. There has to be no question.  Make it clear as you possibly can. Make it complete. Ask yourself if you included all the necessary information, and be concise. Take out anything that's not  necessary, unnecessary words, irrelevant remarks, anything that can muddy the  waters, clear, complete, concise. Follow those rules when you're communicating with your leaders. Follow those rules when you're communicating with the  congregation. Train your leaders to follow those rules when they're  communicating with you and with each other, and especially with the  congregation. And this is the kind of thing that's going to help them in every area of their lives, anyway, if they're have any I mean everybody is called on all the  time to communicate with other people. So just imagine how much nicer your  whole community will be if people started communicating clearly and completely and concisely. One of the rules that I think that is important in working with  leaders is to let them know that you will not allow blindsiding. Now, what is  blindsiding? If you are an American football fan, then you probably know what  blindsiding is, if not. Let me explain that in American football, there is there the  two teams, and one team tries to knock down the guy on the other team that has the ball. And so there are generally the play starts with the quarterback getting  the ball, and he's if he's not handing it off to somebody else immediately to run,  he's looking to throw it to somebody, and while he is looking, he's seeing in one  direction, but he can't see what's behind him. That's his blind side. And so  typically, the left guard is there to protect the blind side, but if that player gets  messed up or gets tripped up, or the other opposing team gets around him, then the quarterback is looking down here and he has no idea, and all of a sudden,  bang the person from the other team slams into him and knocks him down, and  he had no idea it was coming, came right out of the blue, without any kind of 

warning. That's called blindsiding. Don't let your people do that to you. It can  happen. It can happen, and they they won't intentionally do it. But. If they are  aware of something and you're not aware of it, then it can blow up in your face.  It can blindside you, it can knock you down without you ever seeing it coming.  So train your people first to recognize anything that might be that if Pastor didn't  know about this and and it happened, would that be a blindside? Let them ask  themselves that and let them know that you would rather be told about  something twice than not told about it at all. Because if you're told twice, you can just say thank you very much. I appreciate that. But if you're not told, then you  can get blindsided and just knocked right down. So no blindside, centralized  scheduling. This is an important thing, and the bigger your church gets, the more important it is. But you don't ever want to be in a situation that I was in one time  we had a specific event scheduled for the church building, and there was  somebody else in an outside group that used the church all the time and  scheduled something else for the same space in the same building at the same  time, and thought that they had done it fine, because we had a calendar posted,  and this person came in and didn't see something there, and wrote it on there  and thought that by doing that, she had appropriately scheduled this. But that's  not the way that we did it. That calendar out front was just for general  information and was not kept updated the way it should, and something else had already prior been scheduled for that time that couldn't be changed. And this  outside group, this person, got very upset, and it was just a very embarrassing  situation for the whole church. So make sure everybody understands there's one person in charge of scheduling things, and make sure everybody knows who it  is and how you go about scheduling things and what the rules are for scheduling things in your Communication, make sure that all the necessary information is  there say who and what and when and where and why and how. Now you don't  necessarily need all of those, but you may recognize those as the questions that journalists are trained to answer in news articles and your communications need to include all that information too. Say who and what and when and where and  why and how. I have been very frustrated sometimes in trying to go to  something that I was very interested in, but I couldn't figure out when it was. As  a matter of fact, I remember one one time after we retired and moved to  Missouri, and were looking for a church to attend, and we wanted to attend a  certain particular church, we'd heard some things about it, and we could not find  anywhere what time their service started. We knew where it was, but we looked  online. We even drove by and looked on the sign, it never said what time the  service was, and so we couldn't go it took us an awful long time to find that out,  so make sure it says everything that is needed acknowledge communications. It  is very frustrating to send somebody an email and not know whether they got it.  Send somebody a message on on social media, or leave a message on the  telephone, or send somebody over and say, Go tell so and so. Send one of your 

children over. Go tell neighbor so and so this and you never know whether they  got the message, whether they understood it. So train your people to  acknowledge communications, even if the communication to answer, ask a  question and they don't have the answer yet. The tendency is to say, well, I'll  answer that. I'll find out the answer and then get back with them. But finding out  the answer might take two weeks, and in the meantime, the other person is  saying, do they are they even working on this? Even ever hear about this. So  when you get a message, say, I got this, I'm working on it. I'll get back to you,  and that way, at least you know that your message was received. Now I have to  acknowledge I'm not very good at this, but it's something I'm trying to work on,  and it's important for you to acknowledge communications from other people,  and to train your people to acknowledge communications from you. In your  communications reinforce the vision. Reinforce the vision wherever you can,  wherever it's appropriate. If there is something that you're moving towards,  include that some reference to it in your communications. It may be that if you  have a concise vision statement, and you communicate by emails, have that  vision statement as part of the automatic signature to your emails, so that  everybody that gets an email from you reads that again and has it reinforced.  But take every opportunity to reinforce the vision over communicate, over  communicate. It is amazing how people can ignore messages, communications. I've had people come to me, and you may well also, Oh, Pastor, how come I  didn't know about this? And the answer is, well, I don't know. It was announced  in church for three weeks, and we put it in the bulletin for three weeks, and we  put it in the newsletter, and it was on Facebook page and, and I don't know why  you didn't know about it. And then sometimes they'll say, Yeah, but how come  nobody told me? You know they unless somebody specifically comes and  buttonholes them and says, Hey, this is specifically for you, they ignore all the  rest of that stuff. I even saw a t-shirt advertised for pastors, and it said it was in  the bulletin three weeks, in your communications in all of your ministry, but  especially in communications, be careful about confidential information. Don't  put out in public confidential information. Don't put anything online that tells the  addresses, the home address of your people who are home sick, because that's just an invitation to a burglar. They get online, they say, oh, there's a sick person all by themselves at this house, or when you're going on vacation or but not just  that kind of thing. People will tell you things in counseling that is confidential,  that they would be very embarrassed if anybody else knew. Be very, very careful not to let any of that out, not to hint at it, not to use it as a sermon illustration,  even if you say, I can't use I can't tell you who this is, because somebody's  going to guess. And even if they don't, the person still going to feel betrayed? Be careful about confidential information. So how do you work with leaders and  workers? Beyond the communication, everybody has a natural leadership style,  but every situation can respond better to different kinds of leadership styles, and

every person can respond better to different kinds of leadership styles. So learn  what your natural leadership style is, but then also learn to adjust your natural  leadership style to the person and to the situation. So adjust your style. Spend  time with your leaders. Spend time with them. Get to know them. Let them get to know you don't make it. I mean, these are volunteers. You're not paying these  people, presumably, to do what you tell them to do. So build that relationship. It's all based on that relationship. They want to serve God in the church, yes, but  build that relationship. Spend time with them. The more you get to know them,  the more you know what you can ask them to do and what you'd better not ask  them to do what they they probably just might not be capable of. Encourage  them, especially if they mess something up. If they're new in a position and they  don't get something right, they make a mistake, don't come down on them. You  might have to correct them, show them how to do it right. But encourage them,  encourage them. Train your people. And I think we went over this before briefly,  but the four steps of training are, I do it, you watch me. I do it. You help me. You  do it. I help you. You do it. I watch you once you reach that fourth step. If the  person is doing it right, they're trained, and you can leave them to do it, and you  can go do something else. Resource. Your leaders give them whatever it is that  they need to do their job. Don't count on them to provide it out of their own  resources. They may not even know what they need, and they may not be able  to afford it or know how to get it. You provide for them what they need to get the  job done. Protect your leaders, because there are going to be people in your  church, because there are human beings in your church. So I can say this with  confidence, there will be people in your church who will find fault. They won't like the way that somebody has done something. They don't like the way this person is leading this committee, or the decision they made about that you protect your  leaders. Let them know that you've got their back. You're going to support them.  Give your leaders feedback, tell them how they're doing, especially if they're  new in the job. They want to know if they're doing right. You need to build up  their confidence. They need to know that you'll be there for them. Give them  feedback if they're doing wrong. They'll want to know that too, if they're  teachable, and if they're not teachable, you shouldn't have asked them to be a  leader. So give them feedback, positive and negative, more positive if you  possibly can, and in giving negative feedback, there's a an old, very commonly  used technique called the sandwich, where you, I think it may be called a praise  sandwich, where you start with something good, then you slide in the correction. By the way, you know this, I noticed that you might want to try doing this other  thing, this, this, this other way next time, but then end with another positive  thing, another praise thing, so you're starting and ending on the good note and  sandwiching The correction in between. Celebrate them when they do well,  celebrate them, not only with private encouragement, but celebrate them  publicly. If your your church has something that somebody else put on some 

program and it worked out well then the next service, thank that person publicly  for making it go so well. Celebrate your leaders. Say they again. They're  volunteers. They don't have to be doing this stuff when necessary, when  necessary. You might have to replace a leader, and that's a difficult thing if you  have term limits built into your positions that can be, uh, kind of an easy way to  ease somebody out. Just, well, you're you were elected for a three year term,  and now it's the end of three years. And so thank you for your service, and  according to our policy, we have to get somebody else. There are pros and cons to term limits, and I think I cover them in the book, but sometimes you're just  going to have to replace somebody, because either they're they turn out to not  be able to do the job, or something has come up in their life that takes a lot of  time that they didn't have to do that when you ask them to take the job and now  they can't devote their time to it in a situation like that, if it's a time situation or a  personal issue in their family, or something that's taking their focus away, they  may actually be grateful that You are offering them the chance to step down, and you're going to find somebody else to do it. They may have felt obligated to do it  and not want to come ask you to relieve them from the obligation, but they may  appreciate it, but even if they don't want to quit, if they are causing damage, if  they're causing harm, either by doing something wrong or by just morally wrong  that is or or just by being totally incompetent or neglecting the duty, whatever it  is, if you have to replace them, replace them. Don't do that all by yourself. As the pastor or the ministry leader, yet have made it, make it a group decision, so  otherwise, the person's friends will all come down on you. But if it's a group  decision, and it can be shown to be according to the policies and everything that really protects you a lot, but don't be afraid to replace somebody if they need to  never let one person or group hold the church hostage. And we talked about that in terms of if they're a big donor, giving a lot of money, if they have a lot of  influence, but also if they're doing an important job. You can find somebody else. God will find somebody else. God wants your church to succeed, and God has  the people in mind that he will raise up to take care of it. When leaders do wrong in the book. I covered this mainly in chapter 18, but I Timothy 5:19 says, Do not  listen to an accusation against an elder unless it's confirmed by two or three  witnesses. Never just let one person who might just have a bone to pick with  somebody else come and complain. Make sure there are at least two or three  people who are willing to stand up if somebody is doing wrong, though, the  ultimate goal is not that they be punished. The ultimate goal is that they'll be  restored to the Lord. And we're talking here specifically, if it's a not so much a  neglect or an incompetence thing, but a sin situation, the ultimate goal is that  they'll be restored to the Lord and, if possible too, any people who were harmed, and that the church And everybody involved will be stronger for the experience.  Now as minister, it is your responsibility to protect the church, not the church as  an institution, necessarily, but all the other people that could be harmed by the 

actions of this one person that that did wrong, it's best, as I've said before, to  have a policy in place ahead of time, so that your decisions about how you  handle something are not colored by personalities and relationships. Jesus tells  a real good policy. As a matter of fact, in Matthew 18, there we go. If another  believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense now that if they  commit a sin that brings disgrace on the church, that is also covered here in  sinning against you go privately pulling out the offense. If the other person  listens and confesses, you've won that person back, that's all you have to do.  But if you're unsuccessful, in other words, if they won't listen to you, they won't  acknowledge it, they defend themselves. But you're still pretty certain that this is  the case. Take one or two others with you and go back again so that everything  you say may be confirmed by two or three witnesses, so they'll see it too. They'll be able to look and it may be that the person may listen to the now that there's  three of you, they may say, well, the jig is up. I can't deny it anymore, or they  may come around and acknowledge and repent. If the person still refuses to  listen, Jesus says, take your case to the church. Now that doesn't necessarily  mean preach a sermon about it. Probably absolutely does not mean preach a  sermon about it, but it doesn't necessarily mean take it to the whole church. It  means take it to the appropriate decision making body in your church, the board  of elders, the presbytery, the deacons, whoever it might be. Then if he or she  won't accept the church's decision treat that person as a pagan or a corrupt tax  collector. Now that doesn't mean shun them and denounce them as horrible  people. It just means treat them like they're not Christians yet and treat them like you would any other Christian, non Christian. Now there are certain accusations  where you would have to remove the person immediately before you go through this whole process, if it has to do with stealing money, and it's the person that  handles the money, you need to get them out of the position where they can  hand steal any more money while you're working through all the process. If it  has to do with accusations of abuse of some kind, you have to remove them  from the place where they have where they're around those kind of people that  they might abuse while you work through the process. But the point of all of it,  ideally, is restoration. You want the person restored. You want the person to  come to repentance, to acknowledge that they did wrong, and to turn around  and move in the right direction, move back to God. But you cannot afford to just  accept their word for it. Oh, I'm sorry. I won't do it again. There needs to be  some kind of proof of change through accountability. Set up some kind of you  should have some kind of accountability process where the person works  through and they're holding themselves accountable to somebody that can see  whether or not what they say about changing their mind and not wanting to do it  again really seems to be true in their life. Make the decision to restore should be a decision of the same group that decided to remove them, and then you don't  restore everything all at once. You gradually add responsibilities and evaluate 

and say, have they really repented and turned a new leaf? But don't make that  last forever. There should be a specific ending point with a celebration of  welcoming them back. Paul wrote in I Corinthians about how he wanted the  church in Corinth to deal with a certain specific sinner. But in II Corinthians, he  went back to this person, the topic of this person, in writing his letter, and said,  Now, however, it is time to forgive and comfort him. Otherwise he may be  overcome by discouragement. So I urge you now to reaffirm your love for him.  See, if somebody knows they've done wrong and is forced to face that and  forced to go through a process of restoration, then they're going to feel pretty  bad about themselves. They're going to feel like this is not a good situation if  they come to believe that no matter what they do, they will never be welcomed  back. That is extremely discouraging and can drive them away, not only from the church, but from God. So there needs to be a time where once you realize that  they really have proven their repentance to your satisfaction. Welcome them  back and encourage other people now, sometimes, when you have to confront  somebody, they will accept it with grace and appreciation, where Jesus said, if  they if they listen to you, then that's fine. You've won them back. I had a Sunday  school teacher at one church that I served that did something wrong. I don't  remember exactly what it was, but it was a pretty, a pretty bad thing. And so I It  came to me, and I went and I said I'd heard about this. And the person I  confessed and said, Yes. And they I said, well, in light of that, I don't think it's  appropriate for you to continue as a Sunday school teacher. And they said, Well, you know what? I agree with you, and that actually takes a load off of my mind,  because I really want to focus on this process of restoration. But you need to be  aware that, I mean, that was wonderful, that's the way it's supposed to go. But  be aware that, oh, and by the way, after a while, that person, that Sunday school teacher, was returned to the position and served wonderfully. But be aware that  some people will fight it, and they will rally support from church friends against  you, and I think I already told the story about the that happening to me. So  sometimes they will, sometimes they won't. Whatever you do the whole thing,  soak it in prayer and do it in love, and I'll see you next time.