Video Transcript: The Cry For Spiritual Fathers and Mothers: Chapter 5 Spiritual Mothering
In this session, we want to talk about what it means to be a spiritual mother and also what it means to be a spiritual father. Well, we start with spiritual father, and then we'll just morph away into what it means to be a spiritual mother. Let me start with the Scripture, Philippians 2 starting in verse 19 down to verse 22 and says, I hope in the Lord Jesus to send Timothy to you soon, that I also may be cheered when I receive news about you. I have no one else like him, no one else like Timothy who takes a genuine interest in your welfare. For everyone looks out for his own interest, but not those of Jesus Christ. But you know that Timothy has proved himself because, and here's where I want you to see as a son with his father, he served with me in the work of the gospel. Being a spiritual mother, spiritual father is all over the Bible, Old Testament, New Testament. And you know when you see it always, you see it everywhere. I know when my wife was pregnant for the first time, I never noticed women being pregnant. Other always pregnant. You you see that, or, you know, you get a different kind of a car. If everyone does that kind of car, when you see this, you'll see it all over the scriptures. So Timothy was a spiritual son to Paul, and he served with Paul and proved himself as a servant leader. And obviously your Paul commended him. Let me just give you a definition, if simple, definite, best definition I've ever found. For me, a spiritual mother or spiritual father. It goes like this, a spiritual father, spiritual mother helps the spiritual son or spiritual daughter reach his or her God given potential. Say it again. Let's start with spiritual father. A spiritual father helps his spiritual son reach his God given potential. Spiritual mother. A spiritual mother helps her son, her daughter, reach her God, given potential. Now this something is really important here at the outset, is that this is not a title or position. And I like you, you turn your Bibles to Matthew 23 I'm gonna show you why this is so important. This is a role of servanthood. It's not a title, it's not a position of any kind, but it's a role of servanthood. Now the Scripture tells us here we're gonna start reading. What do we start reading? In verse 8, he says, You're not to be called rabbi, for you have only one master, and you're all brothers. Now we know Jesus was a rabbi, but it's not this title position rabbi. He said, Do not call anyone on earth Father, for you have one father, and he's in heaven. I mean, people may say what, you shouldn't be a spiritual father. Bible says, Don't call someone father. We serve in a title, my children don't call me father. Larry, right, but it's a role of servanthood. Then he says, nor do you be called teacher, that Jesus was a teacher. There are many teachers, but it's not again, a position, he says, For you have one teacher, the Christ. And here's the attitude, the heart attitude, verse 11, the greatest among you will be your servant. For whoever exalts himself will be humbled. Whoever humbles himself will be exalted. So what we see here is we see this, this heart of servanthood, which is a bottom line for being a spiritual mother or being a spiritual father. Now, as I there many terms you can use. People say, What It Is it being a coach? Is it being a discipler? Is it being, you know, a mentor? What is the term?
What you know, I find all those terms are fine. Coaches ask people questions, try to pull out of them, what's really inside them. Mentors, mentor people often in a certain type of role, certain kind of responsibility. Disciplers, often we think of discipling new believers. Often, even though discipleship is a many levels, help them understand the basics of the Christian life, but things fathering and Mother encompasses everything where you're really caring about the person. And you know, somebody could be mentored in one area by one person, coached by somebody else another area. That's all fine, but when you first season of time when God gives you someone and you say, I'm going to be a spiritual mother father, then you want to help them fulfill the purpose of God for their lives. Let me give you a couple similarities between being a spiritual father or being a natural father. Who's just some examples. Fathers demonstrate love. You know, I love my four children. Demonstrate love to them. Tell them I love them, because without love, a son won't grow or a daughter it's very hard to grow, though. We don't be held back and often. We affirm our children, and we provide the security for them in this, this sense of love that God gives to us. And I am blessed to have spiritual fathers as a father, the spiritual sons and many various continents of the world. And you know, sometimes this email, sometimes is Skype, you know, sometimes you see them. Person. Remember when I was mentoring someone in England for many years, and whenever I went to Africa or somewhere, I'd always stop at this one airport in England on the way back. We meet for a couple hours, one on one, just to spend time with him, because I love this, this young man, so much, and today he's an amazing man of God as part of our international team. So fathers demonstrate love number two. Fathers train and they disciple and they discipline. Now I'm not talking about controlling people, I'm talking about directing people, teaching them to live a disciplined life. And I remember traveling with someone. I was mentoring and to another country, and I was spiritually following this leader in this other country, and this young man came with me, and he had some experience. He had been a church planter, in business, in leadership, and so he really didn't know this pastor very well, that I was mentoring, and he sees sat down. And so here's why they used to do all this input. Well, what did I do later on? During the day? I said, you know, you didn't have a sense of authority to do that, because you didn't have that sense role in his life. Yet, it's fine to give your opinion, but you need to wait until there's a sense of trust. Bill, this is all bill, and trust is all you're right. Thank you for that. It's able to direct him. Natural fathers do that, and spiritual fathers do that. Number three fathers provide means to enrich and sustain. Doesn't mean we provide financially. Of course, we do our natural children as a young, grown up or when they're older, we no longer do but we won't see them rich. We provide a legacy of spirit, they can only come from a spiritual father to a spiritual child. Fathers reproduce, obviously natural fathers have, you know, contribute to new life. And of course, we do the same thing. Every generation is one
generation away from the greatest revival there ever was, or pure hedonism. Can we they take the kingdom of God into the next generation. We do that relationally as spiritual fathers to spiritual sons. So we reproduce also number five fathers, bless and impart. Impart means to give to somebody else something that we have. I love Romans 1:11-12, Paul says, I long to see you so that I may impart you some spiritual gift to make you strong. That is that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other's by one another's faith or each other's faith. So he said, be a sense of impartation. I don't claim to understand the impartation, but I know it's real. You know somehow Jacob and Esau birth one of their father's blessing. If you remember that often I lay my hands on those I'm a mentoring and just pray blessing over them. We impart God's given you a lot. You can give it into the next generation. Number six, spiritual fathers and mothers obviously have been with Jesus. You can't give people things you don't have. So Acts 4:13 when they saw the courage of Peter and John, they realized they were unschooled ordinary men, and they were astonished, because they realized that these men, they took note they'd been with Jesus. So obviously, as we spend time with God, we can pour into those and the next generation what God has given to us, and we can mother and father others and be followed at the same time. Number seven fathers are models. They are examples to others. And so, you know, for example, the disciples said to Jesus, we were some of them were John's disciples. They said, Lord, teach us to pray as John taught his disciples, because they saw what happened when Jesus prayed. And we obviously can, can mentor others, and we mentor others as were models and examples of the things that that we are mentoring. Fun. You know, for example, people I've watched for years as I mentor. Watch how I relate to my wife, Laverne, and how God's given us 45 years of marriage. Anyway, the closest friends in the world we see my closest friend, and we're more loved today ever before, but see that has been modeled for others. And I said one of one of the men I work with many years told me few months back, he said, I'm so grateful. He said, we have the model to look at in your life, as far as a is your relationship with with Laverne? He said, that's what we wanted. That's we want in our lives, in our generation, and that's all by the grace of God. Number Eight fathers give their sons a sense of significance. Let me tell you what I mean by that. I would have never have picked the 12 disciples. I would have done it because I saw too many issues in the lives. But Jesus saw something in the 12 that nobody else has seen, and so he chose the 12 disciples, amazing. And of course, you know 11 of them. One you know, obviously Judas went absent without leave, so to speak, his own issues. But the other disciples, you know, all, even though they had pretty difficult, as in, Peter denied Him, but they all were restored and came back and and the foundations of the church building Jesus, and of course, those that he mentored, those he trained. But see Jesus gave them a sense of significance. I remember as a young man, I'd been a missionary, and come back
my early 20s, I never preached in a church because I wasn't a pastor, but I was asked to preach at this Sunday night service of a local church in a town right near where I live. Remember I was so scared. I just I prepared at all these notes, and when I actually gave the message, I think I did a whole thing in 10 or 15 minutes, I was just scared. And what really scared me is I noticed that in the audience, and this is any conventional church, it was in a in a church building, and I remember I saw sitting right in the end. I can still see today where it was and this missionary statesman. I never met him. I saw his picture magazines, but he's here. What's he gonna think? What do I have to offer? Had all this insecurity. I'll never forget. It was all over, and I was feeling really bad, like, you know, I didn't do a good job at all. And I remember walking to the back of the church building. He came out of the aisle, reached out, took my hand. Here's what he said. He said, Larry, there's a call of God in your life. That's what he said, now he probably told everybody that I still remember it still today, it gave me a sense of significance. And see, spiritual fathers and spiritual moms will give their kids spiritually, naturally and spiritually give them a sense of significance. And the other thing I want to mention to you is that fathers see potential in their spiritual sons and daughters. Show them the potential. Tell them what you see. You know, the Bible says Proverbs 22:6, train a child on the way he should go. When he's old, he will not turn from it. And I feel like that, that the term that's used there in the way he should go, means, according to their bench, we have four children. Actually. They're all different. Relate to each of them differently. They are their own call from God, and your spiritual children will be different. Where it works with one may not work with another, and that's why we help them set goals according to their Bend, according to how God has wired them. Everyone in your house church is not called to plant a house church. They'll all be involved in house church. They'll all be involved, hopefully, in some kind of role, somehow, discipling people, or whatever. They might not all be called to start one, but you'll need to find what's going on, what's God doing in the lions to help them fulfill that. And fathers are available. You know, I many times when I travel, I take, I take younger, younger leaders with me, and just for the sake of mentoring, that's when I have opportunity. That's when I have time to do that. And I remember I was in China years ago, and as ministering to a group of uncles, as they call them, the apostolic leaders of underground churches, and representing 1000s and 1000s of house churches and in China. And I remember I took a young man with me, who was in his 20s. I was mentoring mentor for many years. And I remember after one of my sessions, I spoke about being a spiritual father, and I couldn't speak a word of Chinese. And these brothers and sisters couldn't speak a word of English, but elderly Chinese leader came up to me, took my hand, took my this young man's hand, put it in my hand like this. Put his hands are. Hands went like this, because he caught it. You understood, yeah, understood it. You know, sometimes we just become teachers. We don't
become fathers. Let me tell you the difference. See, a teacher will impart information. A father gives time. And that is, that is the difference. Now, I really wish my wife Laverne would be here, because she can, you can unpack spiritual mothering a lot further I can, but let me show you things with you about being a spiritual mother and what that means. And she says it Well, absolutely teaching, what I've heard teach many, many times is how God wants to permeate this nurtureless society. And women have this nurturing heart, this nurturing spirit, I find women often are better at spiritual parenting even than men. That's why I believe many house churches will be led by women, women of God, who this Mother's Heart and are going to impart to this next generation. You know that the Phoebe's and the Deborah's and the Lydia's of this of the scriptures, God's going to release so many in the days with Junia and others that we live in. So fathers can nurture, mothers can nurture, but really it comes much more natural, often for mothers. And so God wants to impart to women the nurturing heart of the Father. And my wife says, Laverne says, often women are crying out for this. Everywhere she goes. My wife Laverne mentors so many women, wives of leaders, leaders themselves in their own right, and because there's such a need for this in our generation, Isaiah 49:15 says this, can a woman forget the baby at a breast and have no compassion of a child she is born, though she may forget, I will not forget you. God says, See, I've engraved you from the palms of my hand so the same way Got is nurturing us. He's placed at nurturing heart inside of especially in women of God, to nurture the next generation we called the mother heart of God. There's a father heart of God. There's a mother heart of God. You know one Hebrew word for God is El Shaddai, El Shaddai comes from the root meaning might in strength. Shad. Is Hebrew for breast or many breasted one showing tenderness is out and nurture us and make us fruitful. And that is what God's doing, imparting his heart to women of this generation. Many will be leading house churches, coding house churches, on house church leadership team, but their heart is to mentor and to help and encourage, especially the women of our generation. Titus 2 gives a mandate. I want to read this to you. Titus 2:3, 4, and 5, likewise, teach the older women, there we go, to be reverent in the way they live, not to be slandered or addicted to much wine, but to teach what is good then they can turn train the younger women to love their husbands and children. To be self controlled and pure, to be busy at home, be kind, be subject to their husband, so that no one will malign the Word of God. So Paul is exhorting older women to place their energies into training and teaching younger women. And my wife, Laverne, when she was a pastor, I remember, I mean, with me, we pastored in this church of 130 house fellowships. And you know, this church that grew into a mega church, I remember well that she spent most of her time investing in younger women. She had the pressures of having women's groups and all kinds of other things, but she realized, no she was called to find key women that God showed her and
best into them. And you know, it's been amazing how, by doing that today, the international movement that we're privileged to lead this team, to lead this movement in much of it came out of that mentoring. Many years ago. I've always said my wife Laverne is the secret behind, you know, except for us, the grace of God, all that's happened in the DOVE international family because of her mentoring so many women who then work with their husbands and help their husbands, and of course, some are single women, but it is powerful to see what God has done through her as she's mentored another generation. Here's the deal. Spiritual mothering is not a program. It's not a goal, it's a lifestyle. It's having a heart for this next generation. And it's not chronological age. You can have a 16 year old imparting into somebody as life who's 30 or 40 or 50. You can it just depends on how God is putting this, this together and you and Laverne tells women all the time you don't have to wait till you're older. You can do this. Now I mentioned in a past session that a 12 year old girl was with a spiritual mom mentoring some girls in school. Now, here's our work. A spiritual mother comes alongside, puts her arm around a younger woman, says, you can make it. Here's the definition for spiritual mothering, when a woman possessing faith and spiritual maturity enters into a nurturing relationship with the younger woman in order to encourage and equip her to live for God's glory. That's what a spiritual mother is all about. And again, age isn't an issue, obedience is the issue. Now, spiritual mothering does involve acceptance, encouragement involves a vulnerability, and encourage means to inspire. My wife, Laverne, says, often women today just needed to be encouraged, especially if they're young. They're young married, they have young children and babies. And just to say, look, this is just a season. You're going to get through this. God's going to give you grace. And they don't have you have time for other things in the future. I remember when Laverne was so involved with me in ministry. We started to have children, things started to change, and we're so grateful for a few older women who spoke into her life and said, The most important thing you could do right now is be a mom to your kids, and so it's this kind of spiritual mothering is so, so powerful. So what hinders spiritual mothering? Selfishness? I raise my kids, I pay my dues. No, we're called to be spiritual moms and spiritual dads, regardless how old we are. And people say, I've done my duty. What if Jesus would have done that? You know? But no, he followed through. He gave his life. He went to the cross. He's calling us to give our lives also. The other thing that hinders spiritual mothering is this poor self image, or maybe fear of rejection, thing I have nothing to offer. Christ lives in you. I heard my wife, Laverne say this so many times, telling women, Jesus Christ lives in you. Jesus Christ in you, the hope of glory. See from the scriptures, in Galatians 2:20, Christ lives in you the life view that we now live in this flesh. We live by the faith of God because He loves us. He died for us because he lives in he gives us the strength to be the spiritual mothers that he's called us to be. So just see what the fathers do in
your life if you're a woman of God, and see what God are the people God's place there ready? And are you willing to obey Him? You wouldn't say, Yes, Lord, it might just be for a season. Might be for three months, or six months or a year. There's your summer. You can begin to pour your life into again. I am convinced there's going to be 1000s and 1000 new house churches led by women of God who are spiritual mothers, or you're a woman of God helping somebody else lead a house church, because there's a call of God in your life, neither male nor female in the kingdom of God. God anoints and calls us all to see his purposes fulfilled, to make disciples, to be spiritual mothers and spiritual fathers in this generation.